No man has ever risen to the real stature of spiritual manhood until he has found that it is finer to serve somebody else than it is to serve himself. ~ Woodrow T. Wilson
The above statement said by Woodrow Wilson contains in itself a far reaching meaning which needs to travail deeply through the mentality of the society we live in. The definition and the meaning of being a Man is no longer the same as in the time of our fathers and grandfathers. So diluted is the concept of manhood, that it is actually difficult to define it, given the modern circumstances. The ageless principles of manliness that have been ingrained in our society and being celebrated since centuries are no longer seen anywhere. So to say we no longer know what it means to be a Man.
A mind game quite famous in this regard is worth mentioning here.
“You are inside room in a building on fire. There are two people with you. One is your Mother and other is a very important person of the society. And you have to evacuate one of them along with you. Who will you choose?”
Since some time, I’ve been asking this question around to many people, both males and females mostly adolescents. There is a stark difference in the answers. While 76% males preferred to save the socially important person than their own mother, almost all of the females preferred to save their mother. There is a learning point here.
If the man saves his mother, yes that will be an act of love, compassion, duty expected from a man to his own parent. The same goes for a woman, and more so because they are all so close to their mothers, it is a clear choice for them. But if the man chooses to save that socially admired person, which will be an act called extra-ordinary; an act that is selfless and contains a very big personal sacrifice. Such a person would be admired, respected, hailed and condoled, for the decision he has made for the greater good. A woman will get all the same honor if she saves the person, but I don’t think she is socially bound to save him. The survey above is a reference. I explain it further.
The journey of a person from boyhood to manhood, commonly known as rites of passage, was a clear demarcation of a male to his transition into manhood. Modern society clearly lacks this important transition, leave a few exceptions. So males at the age of adolescence or even beyond, struggle hard to display acts that somehow bestow them the title of a Man. A female on the other hand has a clear transition from girl to a woman and they need not prove themselves that they are a woman. Not a surprise we hear the phrase ‘Man Up!’ we never hear ‘Woman Up!’ ever. The word ‘virtue’ which is actually closely related to female virtues nowadays is a Latin derivative of word virtus which means muscular strength. Sadly, today all virtues are ones expected from a woman, especially in India.
A century ago, when formal education wasn’t so prevalent, the boys at home followed their fathers at their daily vocation like farming, woodwork, smith, etc. Their education consisted of values and principles learnt out of that self bred man who was the idol for those values and taught how to live a giving life and to respect women. With advent of industrial revolution, the father’s were no longer home to teach those hard learnt lessons. There was a vacuum left in the boy’s life who hard to try hard to make sense of his duties, ethics and sense of responsibilities a man has to portray. The vacuum still exists today, and that’s why we see so rebellious teenagers and cases like the Guwahati molestation case.
It is time; we have to acknowledge this lack in our lives and start living a giving gentleman’s life, stop being consumers and start being creators, be Men not just through muscular bodies but from the heart, start treating women with the respect and stature they hold in our lives, be a part of something bigger, live a Life by a Code. Recreate the Man, that our forefathers were – the models for the Gods we believe in.
*inspired from Brett and Kate McKay’s blog – AoM.
I Walk the Line – Johnny Cash
The Thought Spout 